A.W.O.L.

Whatever happened to all the patriotism that blossomed right after September 11, 2001? I remember painting a large waving flag across the rear window of my car shortly after the terror attacks on my homeland. I drove with it that way for weeks and even avoided washing my car so that I could leave the flag up a little longer. I remember walking through the department stores and finding multiple options for T-shirts with some sort of American flag or our Red White and Blue color scheme. I saw every other car on the highway with a waving flag wedged in the window or on the antenna. People were not afraid to proudly wear our country's colors in December or January without condescending glances from passersby on the street. Here we are, a few years later, and I'm hard pressed to find a patriotic tee in the department stores. I haven't seen one of those car flags for at least a year. The car that once donned a big, sparkling, waving American flag has long since been sold, and I haven't heard much positive talk about the country I have grown to love in a very long time. Even the recent election has cast an unpatriotic hue on our great country. It was more about backbiting and one-upping than what I consider the more important issues. Am I wrong? Or has the patriotism and loyalty I so amorously admired seven years ago all but disappeared?

Out of Control

Nothing bothers me more than things I can't control. Especially when those things directly affect me. I don't like it when I'm in a hurry and the person in front of me is driving well below the speed limit. I don't like it when my house is exceptionally noisy. Like when the TV is on, the kids are yelling, crying or screaming, the phone is ringing, dishwasher is running, someone is talking loudly and Sarah is playing games on the computer. When it gets that chaotic, it just bothers my brain. I don't like it when I've just finished mopping the floor and one of my kids spills their juice on it. Things like that just bother me.

Lately, I've been taking some medication that has been messing with my appearance. It seems like it's affecting all the wrong things for me. I've always been happy with my weight and generally happy with my appearance, but there have always been certain things about me that I like more than others. For example, I've always liked my neck and collar bone. Weird, I know. I've also always liked my face (except when I had just delivered Sarah, and was about forty pounds over my ideal weight!). This medicine I've been on seems to be accentuating the things I don't like about myself (like my love handles and post-pregnancy pooch), and obliterating the things I do (like my neck and face). That REALLY bothers me! Call me crazy, but eating less and better foods and exercising more is supposed to make me look and feel better, while possibly losing a few extra pounds, right? Well, I've been doing that for the last few months, and it's having virtually NO effect. That bothers me. I wouldn't call myself a control "freak" or even a controlling person, but when I can't control my own body, it really throws me for a loop. I keep telling myself that it's only temporary, and the side effects of the medicine will disappear when I'm not taking it anymore. Somehow it just seems to wash over in the here and now. Looking to the future with patience has never been one of my strong points. I'm more of a "get 'er done" type person. When I start a project, I like it to be finished in the least amount of time possible. Hence some of the late night finger-sewing incidents. On the bright side, with the multi-vitamin and extra calcium and magnesium I've been required to take along with my medicine, my nails have never looked better or been stronger! I have pretty hands. Well... Here's to another month from now when I'll be off this poison and can start my transformation back to "normal" again... hopefully.

Greedy Corporate Insanity

As if I needed another reason besides poor customer service, lack of items in stock, "accidental" overcharging, lack of cleanliness, inconsiderate demographics, corporate greed, and presumed empiricism to strongly dislike Walmart, they have given me yet another. There is not much that I enjoy about Walmart. I believe that their non-consumable goods are commonly of inferior quality. I don't usually enjoy my shopping experience in the store because of countless frustrations encountered upon every visit. The other customers I come into contact with inside the store are usually not the most friendly or considerate. Of the few things I do find beneficial about Walmart, their lower prices on certain staples as well as their willingness to price-match other competitors' ads have been the bulk of the rationale for me to continue frequenting it's premises. As my wise neighbor-friend once told me, "If it keeps me a stay-at-home mom..." Without consciously realizing it, this has been one of my main motivations for continuing to shop Walmart. It has indeed helped me save money on every day items so that I can stretch our family income without having to provide a second one just so I don't have to shop "that place." I'm not that proud, anyway. I complain, yet saving money and finding the best deal is by far a more important allocation of my time and energy in taking care of and helping provide for my family. So... the new reason for hatred? It may just be a rumor. More probably it's another way for the corporate giant to "stick it" to the consumer in this downward spiraling economy because as yet another wise person said in reference to "safe" stock investments today, "People will not stop shopping at Walmart because they think it's the cheapest place to buy." I have been told that Walmart is shortly going to be doing away with it's price-matching policy. Nice! So maybe I really will stop shopping there now. I'll just have to plan my trips better and utilize my friends' shopping trips when they're going somewhere I'm not. Personally, I think it's a poor decision on Walmart's part. I think they'll lose business over it because a lot of people, including myself, have been using Walmart's price matching for the convenience of a one-stop shop. But it's only slightly less convenient, and not at all gas-inefficient for me to make more than one stop. Especially if I'm going to Walmart because those other stores are all closer than they are to me anyway. Go figure. This only reaffirms my growing beef with one of the biggest corporate giants of America.

Women's Conference

I have always liked President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, and have always enjoyed listening to his talks during conference sessions. Somehow, though, I enjoyed the one I just heard at Women's Conference tonight so much more than I remember enjoying them before. Perhaps it was the lack of children tugging at my leg and screaming in my ears every few seconds. Perhaps it was the dark quiet of the stake center chapel. Perhaps it was the reverence and respect of the congregation of women sitting with me listening tonight. I can't really say for sure. He said some very interesting and important things today. None were ideas I haven't heard a million times before, nor were they extremely profound, but I felt uplifted and enlightened as I walked away from this meeting. A few of my favorite things he said tonight were about service, talents, creativity, and self-worth.

He said, in short, that serving others makes us happy. I've heard this many times before, and have experienced first hand how serving someone else can lift my spirits and brighten my mood when I'm feeling down. It really is easier said than done sometimes, though. When I'm in a rotten mood, the last thing I want to do is do something for someone else. But when I can pull myself out of my self-pity and egocentric disposition and serve someone, even in the slightest way, I definitely feel better. I couldn't agree more that service to others is one of the best ways to serve myself.

He also said that everyone has talents. When we, as women, see another person's abilities and talents, we often start to envy those abilities and wonder why we can't be as good as "so and so" at whatever it is. President Uchtdorf reminds us that we all have talents, and we all have something to contribute. If we all were good at all the same things, the world would be severely lacking. If we feel like we aren't talented, we need to "think again" and find what it is we are good at, no matter how small or insignificant.

He spoke of creativity tonight as well. He said there is no greater joy than when we can take unorganized matter and organize it into something beautiful that did not exist before. He emphasized that we are all created in the image of God, our maker, who is the ultimate creator. This means that if he had the capacity to create something as complex, intriguing and amazing as us, and we are created in his image, as a part of Him, then we all have the capacity to create. He said that if we think we have no capacity for creativity, then we should start with seeing how many smiles we can create. Once we've tried that, then we can move on to bigger and better things. He compared his and his wife's cooking abilities in part of his talk. He said that his wife always made beautiful and delicious meals that he always enjoys. Then when he cooks, it never turns out nearly as well or as delicious, but it always makes him feel heroic and capable for being able to make something at least edible. It's all in the way we look at it.

He also spoke of self-worth. He mentioned that many women are self-defeating more often than self-uplifting. I see this all the time in myself, as well as in my friends. I know when I'm doing it to myself, but somehow, I keep doing things that bring me down instead of building me up. For me, sometimes it's hard to recognize the beauty beneath the flaws. Lately I've been dealing with some issues beyond my control that have been bringing me down. But they only bring me down because I let them. I appreciate talks like the one I heard tonight from President Uchtdorf that bring my priorities and thoughts back into focus and back in the direction they should be. It's important to look at the bigger picture. Remember to look into the future instead of dwelling in the present. All in all, I came away from the conference tonight happier than when I started out today, and more uplifted than I ever would have been had I stayed home like I wanted to. Thank you Brittney for "guilting" me into going! You're exactly what President Uchtdorf just told us we need to be!

Please Hold...

In this day of innovative technology, electronic communication, and the World Wide Web, it's hard to understand why so many people still use the telephone. There are occasions that merit an immediate phone response rather than waiting for a read and returned email, but many things can simply be handled electronically. For me, when I get on the phone is when my house turns into a chaotic circus of noise. Without exaggeration, I can honestly say that every time I get on the phone, no matter for how long, someone comes to my side crying or screaming to be picked up, mad at someone else, needing something, wanting something, and never asking politely. Even so, sometimes it's easier to just ask questions to a live person rather than writing it out in an email or searching the web for answers, and occasionally I have to call a customer service number for information. However, how long does one really need to sit waiting on "hold" when one of those situations arises? This morning, I sat on hold with my home warranty company to ask when they are going to come fix or replace my dishwasher that they "evaluated" a week ago. I keep getting "reassured" by a recorded voice saying "Rest assured that we haven't forgotten about you. Your call is very important to us and we'll be back on the line as soon as possible to give you the attention you deserve." as well as, "You're call is important to us. Please stay on the line so the next available representative can assist you." and "All of our representatives are busy at this time. Please hold and the next available representative will assist you." And yet another voice that says, "All calls are important to us and we're doing our best to return to the line as quickly as we can. Thank you for your patience in holding and we look forward to serving you." The statements are all made by three different recorded voices, and come at three different levels of volume. In between "reassurances" is about 10-30 seconds of calm, quiet classical music, followed by another statement that interrupts the relaxing interlude in a decibel that would snap a bear out of hibernation in the dead of winter. I mean... what's the point of having relaxing hold music when you step in every thirty seconds with an loudly annoying recording? It may as well be silent in between unless the recordings are spaced out over minutes rather than seconds. On the other hand, a company that leaves their customers on hold for 24 minutes before actually getting to talk to someone probably doesn't have their customers' mental states at the top of their priority lists when it comes to "holding etiquette." Over the 31 minutes total spent on the phone with them, I maybe racked up 3 1/2 minutes of actual "talk time" with a "representative" of theirs, only to find out they were waiting for me to "make a decision" whether I wanted my dishwasher fixed or if I were taking the cash out option. Seriously? Last I talked to them, they said someone was going to call me with the cash out amount after they put in the paperwork to that department to get me a number. So, how am I the one holding this up? I haven't heard from them in a week... So after 31 minutes of "holding" and being asked to hold three more times between questions, the end result is that they are going to call me back. Which, ironically, is the same response I got last time I called them. "We'll get that processed and call you back." But that didn't happen, now did it? Looks like I'll probably be calling them again in a day or so... Ahh the luxuries of buying a home. But seriously, though. I wouldn't change having bought this one. Even with a fickle home warranty company. At least I have a warranty, right??

Advertising? Or just Littering?

Picture this:

After a long morning of hunting for the best deals, a young mother leaves a grocery store, kids in tow, with a cart full of groceries. As she gets to her car, she carefully and patiently loads one screaming child after another into her car until all four have been buckled safely in their carseats. Then she goes back to the cart to unload the groceries into the back of the car while her impatient young children serenade her with snippets of screaming, "I want this," "Mama!" "Passie!" "Milk!" "I'm cold!" and the cries of a baby who needs sleep and nourishment. Finally, everything is loaded. The cart is returned. The kids have their milk, passies, blankets, and toys, and the doors are all closed. She goes around to the driver side, gets in, buckles the seatbelt and puts the car in reverse. Cautiously and carefully she backs the car out of the space and puts it in drive. As she focuses on the path in front of her, she finally notices it. The "advertisement" so conveniently, yet so annoyingly, tucked under her windshield wiper directly blocking her line of sight to the road. Now what? Does she stop the car and make the person waiting to pull into her now empty parking space wait for her to get out and remove it? Does she try to drive home with it tucked under the wiper? Does she turn the wiper on hoping it will just fly away into the parking lot where most of the others have landed after being tossed there by less distracted drivers who noticed them before entering their vehicles? What does she do??

If you couldn't guess, this "young mother" in the story is me. This happened to me this morning. So what did I do, you wonder? Well, I was irritated about it already because I think this type of advertising is very wasteful and unnecessary. Most people do end up tossing it on the ground to be blown away in the wind, littering the parking lot, streets, neighboring yards, and other landscaping that might be bombarded by these unnatural hitchhikers of the wind. Who actually reads those anyway? And when someone does, who actually calls the number or goes to the place it's advertising? So I saw it as I'm trying to pull away. I left it there thinking it would either blow away on it's own, or be stuck until I get home, and then I would simply toss it in the garbage. Well, about halfway home, it was starting to really annoy me. So I turned on my windshield wipers to see if I could get it to go away. It didn't. All that happened was that the wipers pushed it directly in the center of the windshield... where it stuck. I turned them on again. It didn't move. The wipers went back and forth over the top of the paper, which didn't budge. What now? There's this 5"x7" square right in the center of my windshield. It was blocking more of my view now than it was when it was tucked under the wipers at the bottom. So I turned on my washer fluid. Mind you, I didn't think this would actually work. I thought it would probably just wet the paper and make it stick even more, which it did, but it was already stuck, so why not try, right? Well it stuck. I got home without incident, and frustratedly tossed the advertisement (which was for some new age alternative church, by the way) into the recycling bin. Yes... I recycle. Serves me right, though right? I tried to get rid of it and add the litter that was placed on my car by someone else to the litter on the side of the road. It just figures that it would stick like glue and block my view. Serves me right! Nevertheless... it was still annoying, irritating, frustrating and even a little humorously ironic.

Outdoor Pets.

What's the point of having a pet if you never let it inside? I suppose if you live in a place where the weather is conducive to spending a lot of time outside, or if you tend to go on outdoor adventures with your pet frequently, I could understand why you might want an outdoor pet. Also, if the "pet" is one that lends itself to being harbored outside (cows, horses, pigs, sheep, elephants... for example), then I could also understand the point of an outdoor pet. Although I tend to consider those listed as farm or circus animals rather than a "pet." However, I don't consider a dog or a cat a farm or circus animal. I would like to know what the appeal to an outdoor cat is. Dogs... okay. I can see why some dogs might be better kept outside. Maybe it's big. Maybe it's too energetic to be confined inside. Maybe the yard is huge and the dog is allowed to roam free and have fun. Maybe it's too dirty or slobbery to be kept inside. But cats? What's the point? Even an indoor cat escapes explanation to me. Maybe I've never met the "right" cat for me, but I have yet to discover the purpose of an animal who sits around looking down it's nose at me all day. Companionship for a lonely human soul? Maybe. But to keep it outside? Why? My neighbor has an outdoor cat. They leave their garage door open about 12 inches so the cat can come and go as it pleases. They leave food and the litter box in the garage so the cat has somewhere to call "home" and come get refreshment. But the cat just kind of hangs around, eats, sleeps, eliminates (not always in the litter box, I might add - I tend to find piles in my yard that were not made by my dog...), and wanders through the neighborhood. So, I pose this question: What is the point?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I seriously think I have this. To a degree, anyway. This past week, I've stayed up until the wee hours of the morning because I couldn't leave a project unfinished. In the past two months, I have done so many projects around the house that I really think I'd forget some if I tried to count them. I've covered two chairs, stained and covered two footstools for said chairs, refinished my dining table, refinished and covered the piano bench, sewed a curtain for the back door, painted hardware for cabinets and door knobs for interior and exterior doors, made a couple of skirts for myself and my girls, cleaned the kitchen cabinets with wood cleaner, expanded my cooking and baking skills, found new ways to include squash and zucchini in everyday meals without anyone noticing (I've done this quite a few times, and my family has been none the wiser!), and many other things that I didn't know I even had energy for. When I start something, I work all the way through until it's finished, if possible. Last night, I went to bed at 1:30am because I couldn't just cut the fabric for the footstool and leave it. I had to sew it and tack it to the stool with upholstery tacks. Then I had to iron the pleats of the skirt on it so it looked pretty before putting it in the room with the chairs and going to bed. I also did the same thing on Friday night finishing the first one. I went to bed at 3:30am the day I did the first chair cover. I know! I'm crazy! But I seriously can't leave it unfinished! When I start something, I just get too excited to see what the finished product is going to look like.

It's not all bad, though. My OCD doesn't always lead to sleepless nights and tired mornings. It transfers over to other aspects of my life as well. Some good for me, even. For instance, I couldn't go to sleep last night until I had read my scriptures. Yes, at 1:30 in the morning. I've been doing so well reading them every day lately, that I couldn't skip yesterday. You see, I didn't do it yesterday morning like I normally do, so I couldn't go to sleep without reading last night. So it happened at 1:30am. Also, when I start cleaning the kitchen, I don't stop until everything is put away and off the counters. Then they get a good wipe-down. Most of the time, I do stop short of sweeping and mopping the floors, though. But the counters and sink are always empty and clean. When I pick up the laundry from upstairs, I don't just pick up laundry, I pick up blankets and put them back on beds. Shoes go back in closets. Stuffed animals go back on beds or in cribs. Pacifiers go on the beds. Towels get hung back on hooks in the bathroom. Toys go back in the tub. And everything is done in a few minutes. It just makes me happy, I guess. I like everything organized. Even if I am a little OCD. It's not so bad, right?

Something's Missing!

I may be offering up too much information here, but I'm going to say it anyway. When I lose a piece from a set, it really drives me crazy. It doesn't matter what the set is of, or how many pieces are in it. I can't stand to lose one. For example, I had a set of dishes that my aunt bought me at a garage sale. She gave them to me when I was 17 so I could have something to contribute to my household goods when I got married. The dishes were not anything particularly nice or special, nor did they have a huge personal or sentimental value to me. A few years later, I made a sample of a wedding cake for another aunt's friend. She was supposed to come taste-test it at my house, but at the last minute, decided to take it home for her fiancee's opinion. Since I wasn't planning on sending it home with her, I had decorated it on a plate from my own aforementioned set. Reluctantly, I sent it home with her. As one could probably deduce, the plate was never returned. Now, my place setting for 10 is now a place setting for 10 only if I'm not using the dinner plates.

I have lost pieces of sets numerous times in my life so far. Broken drinking glasses, lost socks, one crayon or marker from the package, one of a set of two hair clips, a bookend, a burnt out lightbulb in a chandelier, an earring dropped down the drain, a screw, a paintbrush, and the list could continue forever. Just today, Audrey dropped a glass dish from a set of four with lids. Now I have a set of 3 dishes with four lids. A few months ago, I bought a new set of casual dishes, and promptly dropped one of the dinner plates. now I have a service for 7 instead of 8. I want to replace the plate, which is possible through a replacement dinnerware website, but don't want to spend $12 for one plate, when I could get a place setting (dinner plate, salad plate, bowl and mug) for $18. But I don't want to have an extra salad plate, bowl, or mug either. Maybe I'm a little obsessive-compulsive. I don't really know. But something about having 8 dinner plates, and 9 of everything else bothers me. Something about having an extra lid for a dish that no longer exists bothers me. Something about the one empty slot in my marker case bothers me. When Alex has four sippy cups in the cupboard and Lucas only has three because he dropped one at the store somewhere and I couldn't find it, I feel like I need to replace only his without getting an extra one for Alex along with it. (They usually come in packs of two at the store. One blue, one green.). Too much information? Maybe. But I'm a little quirky, and it can't hurt to be honest about it. Maybe it will even help me get over my obsession for things to match. Only time will tell...

New Blog... Again

Somehow, I'm not technologically inclined enough to have figured out how to do this the easy way. I recently created a new blog for my writings. Since creating it, I have had nothing but trouble with logging in, updating, posting, etc. etc. etc. So I re-created it the right way, linked to my Cheer Central family blog. Hopefully this will clear up some of the issues I have been having with managing two blogs from two accounts. Here's hoping, right? To see the previous posts to my "Impressions" blog, please visit http://ashleighfarnsworth.blogspot.com. Thanks, and enjoy!

Also, I know a lot of you people who will probably see this post know how to embed a link into these posts (you know... where you just click on the word and it brings you to the page). Apparently I don't. And I can't figure it out. Someone please let me know how to do this...