Please Hold...

In this day of innovative technology, electronic communication, and the World Wide Web, it's hard to understand why so many people still use the telephone. There are occasions that merit an immediate phone response rather than waiting for a read and returned email, but many things can simply be handled electronically. For me, when I get on the phone is when my house turns into a chaotic circus of noise. Without exaggeration, I can honestly say that every time I get on the phone, no matter for how long, someone comes to my side crying or screaming to be picked up, mad at someone else, needing something, wanting something, and never asking politely. Even so, sometimes it's easier to just ask questions to a live person rather than writing it out in an email or searching the web for answers, and occasionally I have to call a customer service number for information. However, how long does one really need to sit waiting on "hold" when one of those situations arises? This morning, I sat on hold with my home warranty company to ask when they are going to come fix or replace my dishwasher that they "evaluated" a week ago. I keep getting "reassured" by a recorded voice saying "Rest assured that we haven't forgotten about you. Your call is very important to us and we'll be back on the line as soon as possible to give you the attention you deserve." as well as, "You're call is important to us. Please stay on the line so the next available representative can assist you." and "All of our representatives are busy at this time. Please hold and the next available representative will assist you." And yet another voice that says, "All calls are important to us and we're doing our best to return to the line as quickly as we can. Thank you for your patience in holding and we look forward to serving you." The statements are all made by three different recorded voices, and come at three different levels of volume. In between "reassurances" is about 10-30 seconds of calm, quiet classical music, followed by another statement that interrupts the relaxing interlude in a decibel that would snap a bear out of hibernation in the dead of winter. I mean... what's the point of having relaxing hold music when you step in every thirty seconds with an loudly annoying recording? It may as well be silent in between unless the recordings are spaced out over minutes rather than seconds. On the other hand, a company that leaves their customers on hold for 24 minutes before actually getting to talk to someone probably doesn't have their customers' mental states at the top of their priority lists when it comes to "holding etiquette." Over the 31 minutes total spent on the phone with them, I maybe racked up 3 1/2 minutes of actual "talk time" with a "representative" of theirs, only to find out they were waiting for me to "make a decision" whether I wanted my dishwasher fixed or if I were taking the cash out option. Seriously? Last I talked to them, they said someone was going to call me with the cash out amount after they put in the paperwork to that department to get me a number. So, how am I the one holding this up? I haven't heard from them in a week... So after 31 minutes of "holding" and being asked to hold three more times between questions, the end result is that they are going to call me back. Which, ironically, is the same response I got last time I called them. "We'll get that processed and call you back." But that didn't happen, now did it? Looks like I'll probably be calling them again in a day or so... Ahh the luxuries of buying a home. But seriously, though. I wouldn't change having bought this one. Even with a fickle home warranty company. At least I have a warranty, right??